Champagne-Ardenne Property Guide

Champagne-Ardenne is famous throughout the world as France's number one producer of alfalfa. Alfalfa is widely held to be a galactagogue (a substance that promotes lactation.) It is also known to reduce fertility in sheep. Some ewes have been known to take advantage of this, resulting in greater promiscuity and a general lowering of moral standards in the sheep population. Frequently though, the alfalfa also makes them lactate furiously, thereby limiting their scope for recreational sex. Alfalfa also features in Joseph Heller's novel 'Catch 22'. Major Major's father receives a government subsidy for every strip of land he doesn't grow alfalfa on. He uses the subsidy to buy more land not to grow alfalfa on.

The production of sparkling wine in Champagne nearly ended 100 years ago, when the phylloxera louse developed a taste for the local vines. The louse is a native of North America, and it's thought the original mating pair were from Maryland and may have been honeymooning in Europe when they discovered Champagne's vines and decided to settle. Phylloxera belong to the suborder Sternorrhyncha, which means their mouthparts are towards the back of the head. This enables them to binge without anyone noticing. They are also sexually dimorphic, which just means that the males are different from the females. Well duh. An extreme example of sexual dimorphism is the Osedax worm. The females live off the bones of dead whales, while the males live inside the females and don't develop past the larval stage, except to produce vast amounts of sperm. They also spend most of the day in their room playing loud music. With Bonellia viridis, by contrast, the female swallows the males, who then live inside her genital sac. Ding dong! But I digress. Champagne's grape-growers reacted swiftly to the crisis and buried a toad under each vine. Phylloxera are notoriously squeamish about toads.

In the cathedral at Troyes, Louis the Stammerer (see our guide to Alsace) was sworn in as Emperor in 878. The ceremony took longer than expected. Today, Troyes is home to the Lacoste © brand. Created by 1920's French tennis star René Lacoste, the famous shirts were marketed in the US as "The status symbol of the competent sportsman". In the UK, the slogan was "Never mind, Tim, at least they'll keep you warm". The stunning medieval city of Troyes is twinned with Chesterfield in the UK, which has the edge, at least where sofas are concerned.

Troyes was the birthplace of Émile Coué, pharmacist and hypnotist, remembered for "Every day, in every way, I'm getting better and better", which he did, until his death in 1926. Coué advocated optimistic autosuggestion, by which, "Any idea exclusively occupying the mind turns into reality." I'm therefore concentrating exclusively on the thought that these articles are getting better. If Coué was right, they will. The same can work for you too - these regional guides will SEEM to be getting better. Just believe.

© 2008 richardheacock @ mac.com

Champagne-Ardenne Location

Champagne-Ardenne is located in north-east of  France. At its northern tip it is bordered by Belgium, and down the east side by the French regions of Lorraine and a small area of France-Comte. On the southern and western borders it is flanked by Burgundy and further north by Ile-de-France and Picardy. The region is split into 4 departments: Aube, Ardennes, Haute-Marne and Marne.

Champagne-Ardenne Landscape

It is known for its rolling landscapes, large forests and many rivers, lakes and streams. The north of the region is dominated by the abundant Ardennes forests. Its rivers, all of which flow west, include the Seine, the Marne, and the Aisne.

Champagne-Ardenne Attractions

There are 8 lakes reserved for tourists, including the Lac du Der-Chantecoq, the largest man-made lake in Europe!

Visitors often go to Champagne because of its history and its world-famous wine. But there is plenty else to discover including  the region's cultural heritage and cuisine: you can visit Troyes with its ancient houses, or Langres and its town walls, but do not miss Épernay, Reims, or Colombey-les-deux-Églises.

Champagne-Ardenne Weather

Champagne-Ardenne is a region to enjoy all the seasons. Although it can be cold during winter with temperatures around zero, the summer is pleasantly warm with temperatures in the mid-twenties degrees centigrade and on average 6 to 8 hours of sunshine. In such a green area it is not surprising that you cannot avoid some rainy days!

Getting there

The region has three autoroutes:

• Autoroute A4 connecting Paris and Strasbourg and serving the Reims area

• Autoroute A5 connecting Paris and Dijon and passing through Troyes and Chaumont

• Autoroute A26 connecting Calais and Dijon and passing through Reims and Châlons-en-Champagne

The rail network includes the Paris–Strasbourg route, which follows the Marne Valley and connects Épernay, Châlons-en-Champagne, and Vitry-le-François.

The region's canals include the canal to the Marne and canal from the Marne to the Rhine. There is a smaller network of canals too!

The Vatry International Airport is primarily a freight only air-port although rumours indicate it may be updated for a passenger routes.

Champagne-Ardenne population

About 1.3 million inhabitants - so it is one of France's least populated areas.

Major Towns/Cities

The major towns are:

• Châlons-en-Champagne - capital of the region

• Chaumont

• Reims - site of the famous cathedral where the French kings were once crowned

• Troyes
  
  

Champagne-Ardenne Prices

Outside the major towns, rural prices are as cheap as they get in France!

Price Guideline
Apartments: 100,000 + euros (in major towns)
Farmhouses: 25,000 euros (needs renovation)
Village houses: 15,000 euros (needs renovation)
Land: from 8 euros per sq. m

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Champagne - Ardenne Property Selection

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